5 Ways to be a Better KISSer

by Ashley on February 16, 2012

In case you’re unfamiliar with the acronym, KISS can stand for a few different things, but for the moment, let’s stick with Keep It Simple, Sweetheart.

I admit it: I’m guilty of making things way more complicated than they need to be. (Shocker, I know.) There are some areas of my life that seem so big, so complex, so prone to change and confusion that they’re more than I can handle. Feeling overwhelmed creates a huge sense of insecurity for me; I feel like I can’t keep up, I’m not good enough, or I’m doing it wrong. Getting stressed out is inevitable.

So I’ve been thinking about ways that I can simplify my life to cut down on some of the stress. These are working for me:

1. Focus.

Don’t let yourself be distracted. My biggest struggle in my business is that I have so many ideas about ways I want to move forward that I get overwhelmed and end up not doing anything. It took me a long time to even begin a blog because I couldn’t decide on a theme. When I finally found my focus, I was able to move forward, which resulted in you being able to read this right now.

2. Look at the big picture.

Though it’s contradictory to focus, sometimes it’s more important to look at the big picture instead. Ask: What’s really going to matter in the end? This is especially helpful in my faith. When I feel unworthy or that I can never be forgiven for what I’ve done, I remember Paul’s words:

“But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.” (2 Corinthians 12:9).

In the end, it’s God’s grace that saves and not anything I do to save myself. What simpler way to rest in faith than to know that God’s grace covers those who love him?

3. Realize no one else has it all figured out either.

My husband often surprises me with his ability to love me despite my faults. When I compare myself to him, I feel inadequate because it seems like he understands this whole marriage thing way better than I do. But he has admitted to me that he doesn’t understand it all either; he just chooses to love me every day. What a relief to me to know that I’m not the only one who feels like I’m fumbling in the dark.

4. Believe it’s OK to make mistakes.

I’m a recovering perfectionist. Nope, scratch that – I still struggle with it. Perfectionism seems like a great quality (who doesn’t want to do things to the best of their ability?) until you analyze what it really means. Merriam Webster defines this word as “the doctrine that the perfection of moral character constitutes a person’s highest good” or “a disposition to regard anything short of perfection as unacceptable.” My worth depends on whether I am infallible at what I set out to do? Doesn’t seem so good anymore, does it?

This one holds me back the most, and it infects so many areas of my life. I often worry that I’ll make a mistake, an overwhelming feeling because I know that perfection is impossible. By giving myself permission to be imperfect and to learn from my mistakes, I am better able to cope with stress.

5. Accept that some things really are that simple.

From the beginning, human beings have complicated concepts that should be easy. We try to earn our own salvation and believe there ought to be more to marital happiness. But the truth is, it’s just not that hard. The sooner we learn and accept that fact, the sooner we will feel more peace in our lives. Sometimes it’s the effort of trying to understand the secret to these seemingly complicated areas of my life that exhausts me. I herby give myself (and you, too) permission to give it up and relax. Who wants to get to be the one to smack me when I start to freak out over the easy stuff?

Remembering these concepts helps me KISS more often.

Because I promised to tell you how to be a better KISSer, it’s only fair that I leave you with an extra tip. So here it is, and it’s KISSable too: Every once in a while, make it look like something out of the movies. Super simple, right?

I'm going to start doing this. No kidding.

What areas of your life do you make unnecessarily complicated?



Awesome, Ashley! I love it. You did a great job and should be proud.

by Aimee Wheatcraft on February 17, 2012 at 1:17 pm. Reply #

Thanks for your encouragement, Aimee!

by Ashley on February 17, 2012 at 10:46 pm. Reply #

I’ve got a bit of that perfectionism bug, too, Ashley. Eventually I had to learn that sometimes you need to know when to draw a line under something and move on. I also discovered that because I’m a perfectionist, the stuff I think isn’t quite there usually looks great to others. It’s still hard to fight the need to keep tweaking, but I’ve got better. 🙂

by Sharon Hurley Hall on February 17, 2012 at 1:17 pm. Reply #

Good to know there’s hope for me, too, Sharon. I still struggle with it daily, but I think it will just take determination and practice to overcome.

by Ashley on February 17, 2012 at 10:48 pm. Reply #

lol, I shuddered when I saw the title and have been giggling ever since… nice job, well done.

by Anne Wayman on February 17, 2012 at 2:37 pm. Reply #

Thanks, Anne!

by Ashley on February 17, 2012 at 10:50 pm. Reply #

♥♥♥ this post, Ashley! You hit it out of the park -great headline, great writing style – girl, what are you fretting about? 🙂

I think my favorite (that I so relate to) is recovering perfectionist. Too funny!

by Cathy Miller on February 17, 2012 at 5:06 pm. Reply #

It’s that stupid perfectionist in me that frets, but I told that side of me to scram. 😉

by Ashley on February 17, 2012 at 10:59 pm. Reply #

I’m so proud of you, Ashley! You’re so way ahead of the game for someone your age. It was only recently that I learned to let go of what I can’t control, and that I can’t change any situation; only my reaction to it. You’re doing great. Thanks for sharing your learnings.

by Robin Stearns Lee on February 17, 2012 at 7:38 pm. Reply #

Excellent advice, Robin. The quicker I learn that, the better off I’ll be. Thanks for stopping by!

by Ashley on February 17, 2012 at 11:01 pm. Reply #

Hey Girl,
That was a great read! I love your thought process and you have a awesome, relaxed style of writing! Thank you for sharing…I know that I stress with a lot of the same stuff. Keep up the good work!

by meredith on February 21, 2012 at 4:47 pm. Reply #

Thanks for reading, Meredith!

by Ashley on February 21, 2012 at 8:30 pm. Reply #

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